I’m losing my best friend. I thought as I looked at her with seemingly impressed eyes, fuming inside. She’d been talking for about ten minutes, and I had started unpaying attention for eight. Usually when Holly talked, my ears would be on full attention, but the current topic was too hard for me to listen to.
“Megan…” Holly said, weaving her hand at me.
“Yeah,” I widened my eyes, waking up from my slumber of annoying thoughts. “I’m with you.”
“Yeah?” She pursed her lips. “What was the last thing I said then?”
I had no idea, but I could guess, so I gave it a shot. “About how you are…worried that…you won’t get accepted.”
“Oh…” her eyebrows furrowed. “Right.”
“See, DumAss.” I shrugged, giving her a blaming look.
“Sorry.” She said.
Both of us were lying on my bed on our sides. I laid there with my elbow on the bed and my head probed up on my palm. She was laying the same way, facing me.
“So yeah…” she said. “What do you think? Am I overthinking it?”
“You’re overthinking it.” I sighed, feeling yet another surge of sadness. “You’re gonna get into the damn thing. I know it.” I did know it. And it made me sick. “You’re the smartest girl I know”
A warm smile curled up her adorable thin lips as she gave me a kind, shy look. “Thanks.”
I smiled in return, only faintly, before I looked away. Discouraging her hadn’t worked, but only made us fight. Trying to toy with her confidence and competency hadn’t worked, and only made her study harder. Trying to sway her to stay, hadn’t worked, and only made her bitch of a mother who already hated my guts, loath me more.
So all I could do now was sit there, pretend to be encouraging, and watch her sail away to her dumb bright future and her stupid glamours university. I still had one last move, one last attempt, but it was so ridiculous I was thinking of not even trying it.
It tormented me, looking at her now. Her brunet silky hair fell down over her shoulders. Her big brown eyes looking into me, all innocent, oblivious to the dirty thoughts I harbored towards her. I was losing my best friend. Could I…still call her my best friend.
I mean, one should want the best for their friends, right?
A cackling hysteric laugh from downstairs interrupted my train of thought. I looked at Holly and we both smiled and shook our heads. Mom was having her little get-together in the living room, as she did every Friday. I felt sorry for her friends; along with the bossy demanding personality, which I’d inherited from her, she had a ringing laugh that would make one’s ears bleed, which, thanks to God, I didn’t inherit.
We spent some more time talking. It was almost nine p.m. Usually, Holly would’ve already left by now, more accurately, her mother Martha would’ve called by now, demanding that her precious little daughter gets her ass home immediately. But Mom was still occupied with her friends downstairs, and it was Friday, which meant Martha had no problem if Holly stayed for another couple of hours.
“That reminds me,” Holly said, her face wrinkling slightly, as if she was about to say something embarrassing.
“What?” I narrowed my eyes.
“Can I borrow your dress.”
“My dress?” I said, making sure no worry made it to my face.
“That velvet dress…” She ran her hand on her knee. “That goes below the knee.”
She never borrowed dresses from me, which made me now certain of the reason she was about to break that rule of hers for. It wasn’t supposed to be until a couple more months that I would have to worry about this. “Thought we said you’re gonna wait for prom,” I said.
“We decided we’re gonna do it a tad sooner than that.”
“How sooner?”
“Next week.”
My jaw tightened as my shock and anger showed as a simple widening of my eyes.
“I know I know.” She sat up straight on the bed. “But I just…don’t wanna wait that long. Neither does he. I mean we’re both pretty sure we wanna be together, why wait right?”
“So that it could be special.” I said, firmly, assertively, kind of angerly.
“…” She gave me a knowing frown. “Didn’t you lose your v-card in the jock’s locker rooms or something. How special could’ve that been!”
“Hello” I held out a hand, pointing to the obvious. “…I was stupid.”
“So am I.” She smiled back at me. “But seriously. How about that dress?”
I couldn’t question her decision further. She already suspected I had feelings for her. I couldn’t let her know for sure. “Fine.” I shrugged.
“Thanks thanksthanks.” She gave me a short hug. “I’ll only wear it for a bit while I’m with him then I’ll take it off I swear. No disgusting things will happen while I’m wearing it I promise.”
“Yeah yeah,” I said. “Whatever.”
Bitch was gonna betray me wearing my own dress. How appropriate. The he she was referring to, was Harry Nolan, a boy in our school, and since the beginning of this current year, the person I loathed most in this world. Poor thing, he had done nothing wrong, other than keeping my Holly away from me. She already had her time half-full with her studying and chores and shit, her mother made sure of it, and as if this wasn’t bad enough, she and this champ had started dating this year, which hogged a big portion of what little free time she had left.
Brining me out of my troubling thoughts, the door opened, making both of us look its way, before Mom’s blonde head peered inside. “Hey pumpkins,” she said in her usual bubbly tone.
“Hey Mrs. Ashford,” Holly said as she sat straight on bed.
“It’s almost nine. You heading home soon?” Mom said, and both me and Holly knew what she wanted.
“Yeah. You need something from me?”
“Now that you’ve mentioned it,” she said, smiling and tilting her head. “Yeah. Living room is a mess, kitchen too. Would you mind giving me a hand?”
I spotted the brief faint smile that showed on Holly’s face, before it disappeared. Giving me a hand wasn’t an accurate way to describe the service Holly usually provided. “Sure,” Holly said. “I’ll be right down.”
“Good girl.” Mom said, giving her friendly smile, before closing the door.
I knew my prays would go unheard, but I couldn’t help but try. I pinched her arm and whined, “You’re really gonna leave now. You suck.”
“We’ve been running our mouth for four hours.”
“I know but I’m going crazy in here. I haven’t seen anyone for like, a week.”
“Here’s an idea,” She said, brining her index to her chin and pretending to think. “Don’t like getting grounded. Don’t steal a month’s rent from your mother.”
I rolled my eyes, “Whatever.”
“What did you spend that money on anyhow.”
“………Shoes.” I lied. There was no way in hell I’d tell her what I’d spent it on.
“Nice.” She nodded, probably resisting the urge to give me an earful of her anti-materialistic bullshit.
Minutes later we were all down in the living room. Mom, still in her blue sheath dress, sat on her recline, her back sinking into its back and her feet up on the footrest. I laid on the couch with my eyes on the TV. Holly, having finished with the living room, was now washing the dishes in the kitchen behind us.
I had offered my help, of course. But as usual, as soon as I’d gotten up from the couch, Mom said, “Sit down dear, it’s not like she’s doing this for free.” And as usual, Holly politely said she was alright, and like always, I slammed my lazy ass back on my couch.
It’d felt awkward the first couple of times, but after that it just felt normal, even enjoyable for me.
My mother admired Holly. My mother was simple. She was one of those stuck-up hags that one could only feel their snobby personality, but couldn’t really point to any actual evidence of it. She liked people that were humble, subservient, ass-kissers—all her friends had at least one of those traits. Holly was no ass-kisser, but she dished praise easily, and never criticized. She wasn’t subservient, per say, but always insisted on helping out with chores and the likes, which eventually ended up in her officially taking care of our chores sometimes for a good sum of money.
I saw mother grabbing the remote and lowering the volume on the TV, before she said, “It’s a shame your mother wasn’t able to make it today.” She turned her head slightly back towards Holly.
“Umm…Yeah…She’s been busy lately.” Holly said, stuttering a bit, as if the question had caught her off guard, which was a bit surprising considering Mom always asked her that. “She would’ve come if she could.”
“Humm…” Mom nodded, taking a sip from her tall glass of wine. “She still working in that restaurant?”
“Uha.” I could almost hear the hesitation in Holly’s timid uha.
“What about that other job…what was it again?”
I shook my head, suppressing my giggles. Literally ever time Holly was here, mom tried to find out what Martha’s second job was…or if she had a second job in the first place.
“…” Holly sighed, as she stopped wiping off the dish for a moment. “She’s just working at the restaurant for now.”
To no success.
“Uhh.” Mom nodded, with a knowing smile. A minute or two passed, before Mom said, “So how’s she managing with money lately.? She’s doing well?”
“She’s doing fine.” Holly said.
If this sounded like an interrogation, that’s because it was, one that Holly was desperately trying to get out of. For me, if a forty-something-year-old woman was trying to shove her noes in places that were none of her business I’d just tell her it was none of her business. But for Mrs. Polite-girl back there, that would probably be unthinkably rude. I’d pull her out of it sooner or later, but for now I’d just let Mom have her fun, partly because I was too a bit curious to know how they were doing.
I met Holly about two years ago, first year of Highschool. And as far long as me and mother remembered, her and her mother had been struggling financially. And ever since then, Mom had been trying to help her and her stuck-up-bitch of a mother.
Her mother refusing our help, had only been one of the insults Martha had made towards Mom and me. One could only try to imagine my surprise when I had known that our mothers had been friends for basically decades. Combined with the fact that we’d been living in the same neighborhood all this time, made me question how it took this long for me and Holly to meet each other. When I asked Mom about it, she just said, “Don’t know…I brought it up with Martha a couple times. She refused. I didn’t ask a third time.”
I was generally a pretty secure girl, but still, that really offended me. I remember spending nights thinking about why in hell would that woman have a problem with me spending time with her girl. I was Awesome. I was confidant and talkative and outgoing and nice, and unlike her closed-up daughter, had tons of friends.
It hadn’t taken me long to realize that it was all because of the weird relationship that she and Mom had. They were the weirdest king of best-friends I’d ever seen. According to Mom, they’d been pretty close since college, but for some reason had grown apart after Martha’s husband left her. Ever since then, they’d been struggling with money, as her husband was the only provider in the family.
We however, weren’t filthy rich, but it was a small town, a town where one wouldn’t run into some big-shot film producer or a corporate CEO or some fancy shit like that. Mom had the salon, and kept in check the smart investments dad had started before he died. So we were one of the few wealthy families one could find around here. Holly’s family used to be like that as well, before her family situation got all screwed up.
Martha ended up getting a job, which she’d admitted to, and a second job, which she hadn’t. The woman lived in complete secrecy, and it was clear that Holly had clear instructions on what she was and wasn’t allowed to reveal to us. In my opinion, her and mom’s fallout was a result of her own egotistical personality. The woman was unhealable.
When Mom first knew about their money problems, she immediately offered Martha a position to work in her Mani and Pedi salon. Martha refused. Couple of months went by, problems still unsolved as they dug through their savings, so Mom offered her to do gardening work around our house for a generous pay. Martha refused. Third time, Mom already knew the answer, but she offered anyway, for Martha to do some chores around the house, on a semi-daily basis. Martha refused and Mom just said fuck it.
I mean. Who did she think she was! Only option left for mom was just to give the woman money, and I knew for a fact Martha would refuse, saying it was charity or something, and she’d be totally right. It wasn’t like she had any skills or degrees. Woman was useless, and should’ve been thankful for what Mom offered her, but no, she just, shoved away the hand that was trying to feed her.
I guess I could see, however slightly, where she came from, why all the secrecy and the sensitivity when it came to money. She probably thought Mom would hold it over her head, or rub it in her face or something. She was one hundred percent right.
Mom had a big mouth. As in she liked to rub her fortune in people’s faces. And as for the favors, sometimes it felt like I’m the daughter of Don Corleone or something; she’d never let someone forget a favor she’d done to them, big or small, a day or a decade ago.
But still, money came with bragging rights didn’t it. But what bothered Mom the most, was the extent her friend would go to, the struggles she’d put herself through, just so that she wouldn’t have to work for us. She worked two jobs, a cashier at a restaurant and God knows what else, lived paycheck to paycheck, didn’t put a penny on something that wasn’t necessary for their survival or Holly’s education.
With how closed off she was about her lifestyle, we were pretty much kept in the dark, but it didn’t take a genius to know how hard it was on her. Last time I’d seen Holly in new clothes was two years ago I think, and not once since we’d meet had she agreed to go out with me to a cafe or a restaurant. She couldn’t afford it, and, taking after her mother, would never accept me paying for her.
Given that I didn’t give a shit about the woman, only thing that bothered me was that how this affected Holly. Her mother got her so focused on that damn university that she barley had anytime to have fun; aka spend time with me.
“Hum…right right,” Mother’s words brought me back to her little interrogation, which I was sure had reached ridicules extents by now. “So what did you have for dinner yesterday—”
“Just lay off her you nosy hag.” I said, throwing a cushion at mom.
After catching the pillow in her face, Mom gave me a cold frown as Holly suppressed a giggle.
After a brief frowny but playful look me and Mom exchanged, she looked back at Holly and said, “So, where are you going for college again.”
“Uhhmm” Holly paused for a second as she assorted the dishes. “USM. Hoping so at least. You never know.” She crossed her fingers.
“Oh right,” Mom nodded at me, stupid grin on her face.
She already knew the answer. I knew the answer. Everybody knew the damn answer.
“Biology, right?” She turned her head again towards Holly.
“Uha.” Holly nodded.
“Then Med school.”
“Fingers crossed.” Holly said, already getting uncomfortable with the conversation, mostly because she knew Mom only opened it to tease me more than anything else.
“Your Mama must be so proud.”
“She is.” Holly said, excited for the conversation to end.
“Wish that lazy bitch had something like that going for her.” She said, actually wiggling her eyebrows at me. She looked like a child. She was a child.
I knew better than to argue, but I couldn’t resist, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. “I mean… med school is so that you’d have good money. We have money.”
“No one said you’re doomed to be stupid if you have money, honey. You can be rich and smart at the same time.”
I only puffed in return. I didn’t have a comeback answer. I generally gave Mom a pass whenever she came at me with my education choices, for the sole reason that I knew she was a bit hurt about the fact herself. I wasn’t going to college, mainly because, I wasn’t really that passionate about anything. In addition, we didn’t need the money; we were business owners, and the best thing I could do for myself financially was learn mother’s business.
And, thank god, I didn’t have that insecurity my mom’s generation seemed to have, about the necessity of a higher education. I didn’t give a shit. It did pain me somewhat how it hurt Mom. She was probably thinking about how Martha—who already didn’t shut up about how smart her daughter was and about the high grades she was scoring—was going to belittle me in comparison to Holly.
Even though Mom wouldn’t admit it, their relationship had long turned into some kind of a competition, one that Mom had clearly won. I saw it in her eyes sometimes, how she enjoyed watching Holly pick after us or clean after her dinner parties. Or how she bragged about her business and the new shit she bought the few times her and Martha would get together.
So the fact that she only started giving a shit about my academic horizons after she knew that Holly was aiming for Med School, confirmed to me that she wasn’t willing to lose that battle. That her little daughter, compared to Martha’s, was insignificant trash, in the brains and academic sense at least.
“All done.” Holly said.
“Oh…” Mom said, turning her head towards Holly. “Good job Holly.”
“Okay, let me head home then.” She said as she wiped her hands on the kitchen’s towel.
I walked her to the door and we said our goodbyes. Knowing I’d fail, I didn’t try to persuade her to stay, even though I had nothing planned for the rest of the night. A Friday night, for goodness’ sake. She probably had nothing either, I knew that once she’d get home, she’d open those books and keep studying until midnight.
“What you watching,” I said to my mother as I closed the entrance door behind me.
“Movie.”
“yeah what’s it called.”
“No clue.”
“Never heard of it.” I said with faked interest.
“No…I have…no clue what it’s called.”
“…Good enough.” I said as I flopped on the couch.
Me and Mother laid there for the rest of the night, watching what quickly turned out to be the dullest movie there was.
Friday night, and I was spending it home with Mom watching a movie that neither of us cared to know its title. My life hadn’t used to be like this. I always had something planned, for every night of the week, especially the weekend.
I had a lot of friends, a group that I had tons of fun with and that were available 24/7. I was content with them. And not to sound like a ten-year-old out of a Highschool movie, I was some what of their leader. I used to joke around with them, saying they were my followers or lackeys. I decided on what to do, where to go, where to eat, whose house the sleepover was going to be at—which was never mine.
Also, I felt like myself whenever I was around them. I was generally a pretty confidant and bossy person. It didn’t reach a point where I was…like ordering them around, but I did dish out some demands often, and they rarely, nearly ever, refused to do as I say.
And of course they were the occasional playful insults that I often gave, that they knew better than to return. Like this one friend we had, Merial. Fat was an understatement when talking about her cow-like body.
Being of normal height and having a fit body and lovely long dirty-blonde hair, I had a weird urge to make fun of other’s people’s appearance. Something I knew bad about myself but never thought to change. And Merial, being plain big and insecure about it got the bitter end of that. She ate like a cow, moved like a cow, we even made her moo like a cow once after she had lost a bet. So she took the majority of my insults and bossy demands, as she should’ve; it was pretty much the only reason we kept her around.
That was my little group of friends. And there was also my boyfriend. But he wasn’t important. The only gain I had from that relationship was realizing I didn’t like boys, that way at least. I had kept him around. But that all changed when me and Holly became close friends.
Considering she was a bit different than the girls I spent most of my childhood and teenage years with, it initially made me a bit confused of why I was enjoying—or wanting, her company so much. Most obvious difference was how into her studies she was—something that until this day kept being a pain in my ass. She was nerdy. So at first, I thought, sure, it would be fun to have her around. Our friend Kristen was a bit nerdy, and it was always a blast making fun of her because of it, so it was like having two of her.
The morning I had planned to first offer her to hang out with us, I was pretty confidant of her answer.
I shut off people left and right, being very picky about who I spend time with or who I let into my inner group, but when I’d show interest in a bitch, bitch always was grateful.
We weren’t the only popular group in school but we were pretty popular.
Few people in our school got to go to parties and wear expensive clothes or drive a car to school, but we did. And we made it obvious, on Facebook Instagram any other place where you could show off, cause what was wealth for right? Every other girl in that school jumped at the chance of hanging out with us. And that was problem number one:
That girl didn’t, and went as far as to not only refuse spending time with my friends, but, although not as frequently, with me……….me!
I quickly found that she was too polite to tell me, “Sure, but without your friends.” So I started offering to hang out without them, and since she didn’t have any close friends, we pretty much hanged out by ourselves.
For some reason, I started caring about her company more than that of the girls I had spent most my school years with. I started canceling on parties and sleepovers and instead spent the night in my boring ass room in my pajama in my bed snacking and chatting with Holly. It didn’t bother me, but baffled me a bit. Mostly because she was so different not only from my…I guess now ex-friends, but so different from me. She talked kindly, dressed modestly and acted maturely, kind of like and adult, which I used to think and still thought was kind of lame.
Thing more baffling was how different she’d gotten me to act around her. I wasn’t a mean person, but I was no saint either. But around her, I was, I had to be. First time I commented on her pig-nose—her nose was pointed upwards a bit, like a pig—she shut me off, nicely, but she shut me off. She just told me not to make negative comments about her appearance. That was a first, and it surprised me. And it shocked me that I’d listened. I listened to that request and to every request she’d made since about how I treated her, about my behavior. Bitch got me monitoring my behavior.
I respected that, admired it, almost as much as I hated it. I treated people like the fuck I wanted to, that was a part of my personality. Who was she to put limits on me!
Keeping her as a friend gradually became a challenge, like she was this forbidden fruit in my hand, one that I had to work hard to keep, one that could grow a pair of legs and run off from me if I wasn’t careful.
It was no surprise that my relationship with my gang diminished, big time. Instead of every other day, we hanged out every other month. Partly because I just wanted to spend time with Holly, and partly because I wasn’t as excited to hang out with them anymore. A thing that I’d realized since I’d met Holly, was how prideless, opportunistic, wimpy ass bitches my friends were.
I always thought that my fortune had a little something to do with how they acted so nicely around me. I mean, I rarely let them pay for anything, knowing they couldn’t afford all the fancy activates we indulged in. But I only realized how big that little something was when I’d befriended Holly, who didn’t let me spend a cent on her.
Of course, I tested the theory, tried to find out how much did my money have to do with how my friends treated me or how hard they were clinging to me. I started suggesting…kind of a less exciting hangout plans, less money demanding parties and bar-nights, less Megan-funded shopping sprees. And lo and behold, all of the sudden, me calling Kristen a four-eyed nerd or grabbing Merilee’s boobs and telling her to mow wasn’t funny to them anymore, but actually, quite inappropriate and insensitive. Eventually it was me who decided to spend less time with them, but I had to say it came as a kick to my stomach how little they’d argued the point. It was like, “Yeah, whatever.” By every single one of them. It was okay though, I had Holly, which I’d came to realize was the closest thing I had to a real friend.
Some moments came where I wished I’d never known her. I was content with my friends. She broke that, along with the sparkling image I had of myself as a confidant and popular person. She was a rude wake up call. But what was done was done, Megan awaked.
And now the bitch was leaving, for good.
It didn’t matter how much she assured me that we were going to stay in touch. We lived in the same street, went to the same school, and we barely hanged out. So it was fair to assume that once she’d moved to a different city, preoccupied with her sparkling future and her dick-head of a boyfriend, I’d be lucky if I got to see her once or twice a year.
That wasn’t acceptable, and for a long while, with all my attempts failing at persuading her to stay, it seemed there was nothing I could do but sit there and watch as she left me.
I needed a miracle. And, last week, during a night which I was spending scrolling down reddit forms, I found one. It was a stupid headline for a stupid subreddit. It read: Hypnotism Services.
I went in out of desperation and curiosity more than anything else. I had thought that I would read it for a while, fantasies about what if it worked, what if I could hypnotize Holly somehow so that she’d stay here. But after spending sometime reading through the thing, my eyes landed and widened at the bottom of the post, which mentioned the price. I chuckled to myself at first, at the ridiculous price this degenerate scammer was asking for.
I didn’t know if I was actually that stupid or that desperate, but I didn’t immediately close the page—as every girl with half a brain would’ve. I kept starting at the text and the pathetic sale’s pitch and the big-ass number in dollars at the bottom. Whoever was running this scam, included his email in the post. Like someone would be dumb enough to inquire about such a thing, except for me.
Me and the supposed master of hypnotisms exchanged emails for the following two days. They pretty much included me picking his brain about how this thing actually worked and threating him if he was scamming me, which was all bullshit because I didn’t know who the hell the guy was, and I doubted his name really was Hypno-Ninja.
I tried not to think about the logic of this decision as we exchanged emails. This was a last act of desperation, one that I was blowing away a good sum of money for, and an hour-long earful from mom. A small sacrifice, for the insignificant possibility of it solving my one and only problem. What if it worked?
So, after a ton of explanation of which I understood nothing, and a lot of negotiations from which I couldn’t lower the price by a single dollar, we made a deal. I sent him the money, he sent me the Hypno-tool, and of course, my mother found out and I got grounded for a week.
A month’s rent and a week of solitude. If this shit wouldn’t work, I’d track that hypno-asshole down and I’d shove that thing up his ass.
I didn’t even know what it was. It looked like one of those old chain watches our ancestors used to carry around. But instead of a clock on the surface, it just had a strange pattern of tangled lines. I didn’t look at it for long. If the thing actually worked I didn’t want to end up fucking up my own brain now did I.
I kept it in my closet, until the day I’d get the guts to use it, to find out if Holly was going to stay with me or be out of my life forever.
It was now two weeks after receiving the tool, one week after Holly’s last visit, and I still hadn’t managed to muster the guts to do it, and Holly’s special night, was tomorrow. I was the kind of student that studied my whole exam the night before the exam, so it wasn’t a surprise that I needed the terror of realizing that tomorrow Holly would be wearing my dress while making sweet sweet love to that fuck-tard, getting her first sexual experience with someone other than me. Today. She was coming to my house today to borrow the dress, and today, I’d do it.
I spent the day wondering about whether or not I should use it, and after I’d made my choice, about how to use it. The guy had said it was pretty straight forward. He’d said that I should dangle the thing in front of her eyes, make it swing left and right for a minute during which she should only straight forward and not trace the object with her eyes. After that, over, she’d be in the state in which I could fuck with her brain. I’d done my best not to expect any super spells to come out of this thing, like getting her to follow my orders or something, but it was still a disappointment when he told me it was impossible to do that. It helped his credibility though.
Apparently, all this little spell could do, was get me to make some sort of connection in her senses, get her to associate two feelings together. I asked him the only logical question which was how the hell was this supposed to help me? The suggestion he’d given was smart, perverted and made me want to punch him in the face, but he was right, the way he suggested was the only way to make use of this.
I had been still thinking about the details of how to use it when my phone rang. It was Holly. We’d agreed to meet at seven, and it was still four.
“Hi.”
“Holla.” She said, speaking in an enthusiastic tone that was strange to her. “What’you doin.”
“…Nothing…Why?”
“Thinking about coming over.”
“Now—Right now?”
“Yeah…” She chuckled. “Why not?”
“…Nothing…Yeah…” I said, eyeing my closet. “No problem. Waiting for you.”
“Great, bye.”
“Bye.” I closed my phone got up then freaked out. She’d be here any minute.
I ran to my closet, got into some cute pink pajamas and gave my messy dirty-blonde hair a quick combing. Then I glanced thorough the window, and saw her approaching our house. Our eyes met, and with a friendly kind smile on her unsuspecting face, she waved at me.
That wave was enough to send a surge of guilt down my stomach. It broke my heart. She looked so innocent. She trusted me. She saw me as her best friend. I was her best friend. The depravity of the act I was about to commit downed on me. She’d hate me if she knew what I was planning to do to her, which was, when it came down to it, fuck up her brain, ruin her future, force her to stay in this town, with me, forever.
I waved back nervously as she knocked at the door. I didn’t go downstairs, thinking that Mom would just let her in.
I was ruining her future.
My room’s door flew open making me snap towards it. She burst inside and whooped with her hands in the air, “Tomorrow…I unlock womanhood!”
I stared at her, as her face wore a stupid excited grin. I’d never seen her this excited before. This hypno shit better work.
“Hi.” I smiled calmly.
“Hi.” She gave a soothing sigh as she threw herself on top of my bed.
I walked to my bed and sat at the edge beside her thighs. “You seem excited,” I said.
“Hell yeah I am.” She fisted the air and chuckled. “He already booked us a room.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Where?”
She looked sideway at me, her eyes getting all dreamy. “He left it as a surprise.”
“Humm…that’s…romantic.”
“I know.”
“Kinda like…creepy romantic, like kidnap you romantic.”
“Shut up.” She brushed me off with her hand as she sat straight on the bed. Her eyes wondered around for a bit before they settled on the dress I’d hanged on the handle of the closet’s door. “Yeah!” She raised her arms jokingly as she looked at me. “You got it all dry-cleaned for me and everything.”
“Sure did,” I said.
I didn’t know if my unenthusiasm showed on my face, or if she’d sensed something was wrong, but for some reason she said, “Is it really alright if I borrow it? You could totally still say no.”
“Come on…” I brushed her off. “Don’t make a big deal out of it. Just keep it away from his Jizz.” I gave her a teasing look, and she just rolled her eyes with a smile.
We spent a bit of time chatting about her big night. And me, being the master of sex, gave her advice on what to do tomorrow night, you know, cause my one-time shag in the locker rooms gave me oh so much experience. Holly was a smart girl, academically speaking, but God was she naïve.
After a while, I thought I’d better show a bit of encouragement, and suggested she’d try the dress, and she jumped at the idea, like she’d been waiting for me to suggest it since she’d arrived. I had my own selfish reasons of course, but I did want to be a bit supportive.
It was right then, when she stood in front of me with that velvet dress, that I’d realized there was no way in hell I’d let her slip from my hands. I loved her.
I just sat there on bed and hoped my gazing wasn’t too obvious. Her brunet hair fell smoothly on her naked shoulders. Her curvy full breast thrust forward. The dress highlighted the curves of her hips perfectly. She wasn’t fat, nor skinny, just chubby, just the right amount, that would give her partner just enough flesh to grab on to. Like hell that partner was gonna be some dorky asshole.
“What?” She tilted her head slightly, giving me a weird look, probably in response to my creepy one.
“Nothing.” I shook my head. “You look good.”
“Good!” She turned on her heel and checked herself in the mirror. “Bitch I look gorgeous.”
She did. She did look gorgeous. She never dressed like this, always wore conservative clothes, long sleeves blouses and wide leg jeans that often hid all of the curves and gorgeous features of her body.
After checking herself out in the mirror for a while, her eyes pleased with what she was seeing, both our eyes actually, she got into the bathroom and got out of it.
We sat on my bed Indian style and chatted for a while, while I tried to muster up the courage to do the damn thing.
She was my friend, and I loved her.
I wouldn’t have to try such drastic means if she weren’t such a prideful, stuck up, selfish idiot. She didn’t know what was good for her. She’d go there, work herself bloody for what…five, six, whatever amount of years that damn Med school required, then work as a doctor, make a lot of money, all for who, for her mom?
Holly didn’t want any of these things. Not once had I heard her talk about her future with joy or excitement. She was always like, “So yeah…those my life plans.”
And money was the last thing on her mind. She never cared for expensive crap. But being smart, she did care for stability, and I was willing to offer her stability, security, so that she wouldn’t need for a thing.
I’d allow her to live her with me. That was of course if she’d be willing to be an adult and put her damn pride aside, provided that she’d act thankfully. I mean, I was no pushover was I. And I loved her. My feelings mattered too. Why should we grow apart from each other, just cause some old hag couldn’t accept how things were? My happiness mattered as much as hers. I owed myself that.
“Don’t laugh at me.” I said, giving her a silly worried face.
“What?” She smiled.
“I came across this… ridiculous ad the other day.” I said as I made my way to my closet and started looking for the object.
“Yeah, About what?”
I took the hypnosis clock that wasn’t a clock out of my closet and dangled it in the air in front of her. “Hypnotism.” I said, making my tone show that I knew how ridiculous I sounded.
She titled her head and frowned at me, like she was disappointed. “Seriously.”
“I know I know.” I said as I climbed up the bed again. “I couldn’t resist.”
She grabbed it off my hand and started checking it out, flipping it over. “How much did it cost you?”
“…Couple of hundreds.”
“…” her eyes snapped away from the clock and settled on me. “The hell Morga—what even is this thing?”
I snatched it off her hand and got closer to her. “Just let me have my fun okay.” She would’ve probably killed me if she had known how much it actually costed me.
“What does it like…do?”
“Well…” I thought for a bit. “It makes you go to sleep, supposedly.”
“What like… instantly?” she snapped her fingers.
“Yeah.”
Both of us just sat there for a bit, as she nodded calmly at me with her lips pursed, like she was saying, “Good for you.”
“So…” I said. “Wanna try it.”
“Really…” she sighed, then, probably in response to my frown at her unenthusiasm, she shook her head and made herself a bit more excited. “Okay okay. Let’s Try it.”
“Alright…So. I’ll dangle it in front of your eyes, and all you’ll have to do is look at me. Like straight forward, don’t follow it with your eyes.”
“That’ll be a bit difficult won’t it?”
“…………try.”
“Fine.” She shifted and tucked her slim legs under her before nodding at me expectantly.
“Ready?”
“Uha.”
My heartbeat quickened as I rose my hand with the metal chain between my fingers. She looked straight at me, her big brown eyes all friendly and kind and excited, oblivious to what was I about to do to her. If there ever was a prize for friend of the year—
I started swinging. It swung once, it swung twice, thrice.
Her neck loosened and fell on her shoulders with her eyes closed and her tongue poking out of her mouth, like someone shot her or something.
“Holly!” I prodded her shoulder harshly as she laughed at me. “Come on be serious.”
“Okay okay…sorry.” She said as she straightened her back again, took a deep breath, and looked straight into my eyes.
I rose the clock again, and started swinging.
The patterned side kept facing her the whole time with no need for me to adjust it. We kept eye contact as the clock swung left and right in front of us. I didn’t know for how long I’d been doing this, but after a while, something changed in her eyes. She was looking at me differently, like she was lost, like she wasn’t there.
Did it work? I looked with narrowed eyes at her dull face, as her eyes stared into mine. She looked so…absent. “Holly,” I whispered, preparing myself for the disappointment if she responded. But, to my thrill, she didn’t respond, she didn’t move, she didn’t do anything but sit still, her eyes transfixed at me, her mouth gaping slightly, her shoulders slouched. “Holly,” I said again, only louder and waved my hand in front of her absent eyes, unable to keep my excitement out of my tone. She stayed still. It worked, I thought, at least this part of it did.
Great…now what? I shouted inside.
I jumped to my feet, and did the only logical thing there was to do: I freaked out. Why hadn’t I thought this far. What was I supposed to get her addicted to now? What was the best way to mess up her mind, in a way that she’d never be able to get away from me?
Mindlessly, I grabbed one of my perfumes and rushed back to her, then halted near my bed. Maybe I could get her addicted to this. Wear it every now and then. Only when she’d be with me would she be able to smell it. And what happens when the bottle runs out, idiot? I didn’t know. I’d order another. What if she figured it out, that it was the smell getting her fanny crazy and not me? I sighed as I put the perfume bottle aside and leaned against my dressing table, looking at her impatiently.
It didn’t take long for me to realize how stupid I was, how easy my problem was. Why perfume? I had a scent didn’t I. And what better way to get her addicted to me, than having her addicted to my scent. All I had to do was get close to her, give her my neck, have her take a whiff or two, and done. She’d be mine. She’d take one smell of any part of me, and would swoon. She’d be wrapped around my finger. Whatever I’d do to her, whatever way I decide to talk to her, no matter how mad she’d be at me for whatever reason, she’d come back crawling to me, begging me to forgive her. GOOOD. I grew hot only thinking about it.
I walked back to the bed, and rested my knees on it. As I crawled closer to her, I halted again. A mischievous smile crept up my lips.
This was a one-time chance. There was no way in hell I’d be able to pay that assholic genius again. I had one chance to mold her into being mine, and into acting the exact way I wanted her to act. Whatever shameful and subservient adjustments I needed to make to her mind, this was my only chance, and getting her merely addicted to my beautiful, pleasurable scent, was making little use of a huge opportunity. There couldn’t be any doubt in her mind, about who’d be the boss in our future relationship. I wanted to humble her.
I didn’t have to think about it for long, as my hand instinctively found its way to my leg, then to my ankle. I grabbed my slipper. I took it off, feeling its fluffy, slightly moist cotton inner sole cling to my skin as I slid it off my foot. I brought it up to my nose, keeping it at a safe distance so it wouldn’t knock me unconscious, and took a light whiff. My head abruptly turned away from the sharp stench. It was horrible. I needed to throw away those slippers, right after this.
I took a last look at her face, which looked all mindless and dumb. She was so clueless to what was about to happen to her, about the drastic turn her life would take, oblivious to the fact that I was going to unrecoverably disfigure that smartaholic brain of hers.
Just before my hand moved again, before I took the last action to seal her fate, I stopped. I thought if I really wanted to do this to her. She trusted me. She thought of me as a friend. Was that how I thanked her?
But I loved her so much. I welcomed her into my life. I was contented with my life before she came around. I was happy, satisfied. She changed that. She entered my life; she wasn’t going to walk out of it that easily.
My face grew determined as I grabbed the back of her head with one hand, and with the other, shoved my slipper against her face.
“Take a sniff Holly.” I whispered through gritted teeth. She probably couldn’t even understand my words, but I couldn’t go through this with a shut mouth. Talking down to her, ordering her through the whole thing made me feel I was in control. “Sniff my slipper. Inhale my stench.” Her light breathing, it was the most soothing of sounds, the sound of her sliding down into the rabbit hole, the sound of her getting addicted to my stench, to me, the sound of her eternal fall.
“Inhale my stench you stuck-up—bitch.” I said out loud, trying to overcome my growing nervousness. It was already too awkward, and I hadn’t reached the most awkward part yet. My eyes darted from her face to her crotch and up to her face again, as I delayed the inevitable act. Touching her there wasn’t that big of a deal, while she was awake. Doing it like this, made me feel like I molested her or something, which, would be hundred percent true. I’d be a molester now.
No skin on skin, I sighed. I mustered my courage and retrieved my hand from the back of her head. I reached down to her crotch, and lightly, touched the surface of her pants and withdrew my hand back, putting it behind her head again.
It elicited no reaction. But it was what the guy had told me to do.
My face shrunk and my nose wrinkled as I cringed at seeing her eyes weaver and shutter. She closed her eyes, as her lips started giving out light groans. I closed my own eyes in disgust and turned my face away, as if not witnessing the act would make it less perverted.
I didn’t look, but her noise only grew louder and more intense in my ears. It was as if she was having sex. And after every groan she gave, she breathed in heavily, unsuspectingly overcoming her senses with my foot stench.
Every time I thought it was enough, I forced myself to hold on for just a little bit more. I remembered what he said, the longer I would do this for, the harder the association would be ingrained in her brain, the easier for me to control her after. I didn’t know for how long I had been doing this, but judging by her restless squirming, I’d say for a long time.
I looked at her, and grimaced with cringe and amusement when I saw the slight, satisfied smile that was sat on her lips. I wiped my hand on my bed instinctively before walking to the bathroom and washing up. I didn’t know what I had to wash up, but I felt dirty.
I finished the job, laid her on her back and tucked her under the covers. Tomorrow she’d ask about what happened, and I’d just say that all the hypno crap had done was make her fall asleep.
As I lay there beside her on the bed and watched her doze off peacefully, I couldn’t stop restlessly biting my nail. This thing better work. Tomorrow, she would be seeing that jerk Harry. Hopefully, she’d realize there was something wrong before they’d get to third base.
It was the day after, and I was laying on my bed, my foot anxiously tapping against my mattress as my hands clung to the phone and my eyes stared at my reflection in its black screen. I had so many feelings battling inside me at once. Fear, knowing that I had done something so naughty and was waiting for its results. Anger, at the bastard who I wasn’t sure whether or not had bunked me. And restless impatience. If things were going as planned, Holly would message me any minute now. If not, she’d be in his bed, giving him her flower, as she liked to put it.
In my anxious wait I was aware of every second passing, until finally, my phone lit up, and there it was, a message notification. Holly had sent me a message. I opened it.
Holly: What you doing?
Me: Nothing, watching a boring show.
Holly: Can I come over?
She typed, allowing me to give the sigh of relief I so desperately needed. It worked. It worked. Why else would she be texting me, coming over to hang out, in her special night. Only possible reason, that her special night didn’t turn out to be so special after all.
Me: Sure.
I bit my lip instinctively, having an urge to toy with her a little bit. I typed:
Me: Excited to know all the naughty details.
It took her a moment to form a response.
Holly: Yeah. Haha. Coming over to you now.
I hurled my phone at the bed and leaned back, satisfied.
She arrived at my house about ten minutes later. We said Hey to mom and immediately walked to my room. She was as impatience as me to get alone together. She was probably freaking out, understandably.
The true frustration she’d been harboring immediately showed once she’d entered my room, replacing the polite face she’d been putting in front of my mum. She walked and threw herself on the bed face down, and as I stood behind her, I actually had to suppress a giggle.
Once I had gotten my joy under control, I sat beside her on the bed, and she was still laying there on her stomach. She was still wearing my dress and her bare legs extended over the foot of the bed. Her head turned to the side as her cheeks rested against the mattress, a sad look on her face.
I said, “Soooo,” I pinched her cheek between my knuckles playfully. “How’s the first night of womanhood?”
Her face still looked cold but her eyebrows frowned in sadness. She was probably thinking about how to start this, how to tell me. It was a pretty awkward thing to talk about.
She stayed silent for a while, which I understood, but then it went on for so long that I had to say something, so I said, “Holly. What happened?”
She stayed frozen, but her eyes looked up at me, before she cleared her throat, sat in her usual position and propped her herself on her elbow. Her lips parted slightly, then closed again, as she seemed hesitant to talk, before she finally said, “Let me ask you something.”
“Seeking my wisdom already,” I said arrogantly.
“Yeah shut up for a sec,” She gestured with her hand for me to shush, then continued, “When you…” she searched for words. “…you…you know.”
While her ten-year-old mentality when it came to sex was usually amusing, now, it was standing in the way. I wanted to know what happened and I didn’t have an appetite for any bullshit. “When I fuck,” I said, implying that she’d just use the fucking vulgar words.
“No…” She narrowed her eyebrows. “Well, yes. Kinda…before…fu…fucking.”
“Making out?”
“Yeah,” she said, her face growing in desperation. “Do you…feel, good.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean…do you feel…” She waved her hand around her lower body. “Feel good.”
My eyes darted between her face and the place she’d gestured towards for a second, before I looked at her and said, “Absolutely, I mean…duh!”
“Yeah?” She narrowed her cute brown eyes at me, “How good?”
I took a deep breath as I looked up, thinking of ways to describe the feeling. The feeling she’d never get, without me, without my say so, without my touch and smell. “You feel it. It feels like, a tingle, between your legs. Like…there’s an empty void in your stomach. It’s the best feeling in the world.”
“…”
“What?” I said once I noticed the look of worry that overcame her face.
“Is it possible that I’ve gotten it,” she said, as if she already knew my response but hoped for a different one. “But didn’t…like…notice it?”
“Well, no…it’s pretty noticeable,” I said, then pretended to be slightly surprised. “Why. Didn’t it feel that good?”
“It felt like nothing.” She slammed her face in the mattress again, which allowed me to fist the air and mouth out a silent yell of victory.
I composed myself again just as she turned her head back to look at me. “What do you mean honey?” I asked, my tone gentle and concerned.
“Like, literally nothing.”
“What exactly did you guys do?”
“We kissed.” Agitated, she said. “We kissed and made out. And ever since he stepped foot in the house, it was so…awkward. And when we got to the kissing part it felt like I was kissing dad.”
I couldn’t suppress my chuckle, and she gave me a menacing stare. “Sorry.” I said, but still couldn’t help my smile. “You were saying.”
Her frowned loosened, then she continued, “And he felt it. He felt that I didn’t feel anything. Eventually the situation got too awkward for us both, and he was mad, probably offended, as his right. It must’ve felt like he was trying to make love to a wall or something. So after a while he just… left.”
I didn’t know what to say, seeing how serious and saddened she was describing it all, so I just kept the concerned-friend look on my face and listened.
“I just…” she turned to lay on her back as she looked at the ceiling in thought. “Don’t understand.”
“Sorry honey.” I said, passing my fingers through and creasing her hair.
I gave her a moment to calm down. She needed it. Even though I much wanted to stick my armpit in her face and yell, “This is what you get hot to now bitch…this and only this.” I held myself off. I got her. The thing worked, and now I knew she was mine. The only thing that could miss this up, with me moving too quickly, risking her figuring it out. She wasn’t dumb. We had performed the failed hypno thing just yesterday, and her little sexual crises just happened, so if I provided her with what she desired now, I’d risk her connecting the dots, and consequently, killing my ass.
So I sat there, and for now, acted as a good friend for her. I gave her some more time before I said, “Maybe he’s…not your type.”
“He is so just my type,” she whined, “Everything was going perfect. We’ve been dating for months. AND yes, I felt it in my stomach and crotch and whatever. This night was supposed to be ten times better.”
“I mean…” I said, trying to stay logical. “You didn’t really do anything before right. You probably spent it doing what…holding hands.” I couldn’t help my mocking tone. “That’s nothing… this is the real deal that you were going to experience today, and there you have it. You felt nothing.”
“Yeah, I realize that!” She said, her tone irritated. “What’s your point.”
“I don’t know…I’m just thinking aloud.” I shrugged. “What if you’re…you know…”
“What…” She looked at me, then her face wrinkled at the suggestion written all over my face. “No. Am not a lesbian alright.”
“You can’t know that for sure. I didn’t figure it out until after Liam. You never know till you know right.”
“But I do know.” She sat straight, then dragged her butt up on the bed till her back rested against the backboard. “I don’t know.” She looked up, her shoulder slouching. “I guess I’ll just see what happens tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow!”
She looked at me, looking confused by my shock. “Yeah, why?”
“…Nothing.” I looked away, hiding my bitter frustration behind an indifferent face. Tomorrow! Cool down missy, he aint gonna run.
My slippered foot shook anxiously as it rested near Holly’s thighs as thoughts battled in my head. I didn’t want her to see him. It was by mere luck that they hadn’t done anything serious today; there was no saying if I would be just as lucky tomorrow. How could she think about seeing him again this quickly? I thought that she’d need some more time to think this shit over, but apparently that wasn’t the case. Her mind was confused, but not confused enough, and I couldn’t risk it.
“Hey…Do me a favor.” I said, grabbing her attention. “Take my slippers off and throw’em to the floor will you.” I said, in a lazy tone, rising my feet, and holding them close to her face.
She looked at them then said, with a bit of confusion as to why I wouldn’t just do it myself, “Sure.” She grabbed both of them at once, and wiggled them off my feet.
I couldn’t see her face clearly, as my feet were blocking my view, but I could see that she froze. I kept my legs up for a bit, half-an-arm away from her face, as she held both my slippers in her hands. I lowered my feet, and made sure to hide the satisfaction behind a neutral face. The look on her face was hilarious. Her eyebrows joined, her eyes pointed forward looking at nothing, her arms still held up like she was posing for a picture while holding the trophy that was my slippers. I giggled, “Earth to Holly.”
“Yeah—” she said then abruptly threw the slippers to the floor, looking at them with fear in her eyes, like they were some creepy creatures.
“What’s wrong.” I chuckled. “Do my feet really smell that bad?”
“Huh—yes—no…” She shook her head, before she concentrated her worried eyes at me and tried to calm herself. “They do smell a little bit yeah.”
“Sorry,” I said, dragging my legs closer to me. I thought the best thing to do now was to change the subject, so I said. “So, how’s your studing.”
“What…” She said, a lost look on her face. “Right…They’re…Fine.” She dragged her own legs closer, bending her knees and hugging them to her chest. “Yo—You?”
“Oh you know.” I shrugged. “Same old…”
I spent some time talking about homework and other school stuff, hiding my amusement. She tried really hard to make it look like she was focusing on my words, like she was listening. But I knew that there was one thing she was capable of thinking about right now, and it wasn’t what I was saying, but about why in hell would she feel bolt of excitement down her pants after taking off my slippers. It probably wouldn’t take her long to realize it was the smell, more than anything else. The fact that her anxious eyes glanced at my feet every ten seconds only proved it further to me.
I kept talking for some time, doing my best to resist my mischievous urge to toy with her, but eventually, sensing her growing nervousness, I couldn’t resist. “Holly.”
“Yeah?” She said, darting her eyes to my face.
“Is everything alright?”
“Yeah…” She giggled, shuffling on the bed nervously. “Why?”
“I dunno,” I shrugged. “You seem off. And you keep staring at my feet.” I wiggled my toes at her, successfully drawing her attention back to them.
“Am I?” She said, before she shook her head. “I dunno. I’m just…I’m sorry I’m just…I think I’m still worried about what happened tonight.” She said, before she climbed off the bed and stood at the side. “I think I’m gonna go.”
“Oh…” I pouted. “Okay. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah.” She nodded then walked to the door, seeming to avoid looking at me directly in the eye.
“And listen…” I said raising to my feet, and she stopped. I walked closer to her, putting a hand on her shoulder and giving her a gentle, kind hug. “Don’t…rush this, okay. Give it time. He’ll understand, and… it’s probably best if you wrap your head around this before moving forward, right?” I suppressed a giggle as she breathed in my neck’s scent. I ended the hug abruptly while still keeping my hands on her shoulders and looked at her anxious face.
She looked so scared and lost before she shook her head and said, “Yeah…Yeah.” She nodded, looking at the ground with worried eyes. “Totally. Thanks…I’ll see you tomorrow.” She opened the door and left. I heard her say goodbye to my mom, before the house’s entrance door was opened and shut. My feet instinctively ran to my bed, before I threw myself on top of my mattress and whooped. This is the best day ever.
It worked! Everything about it worked. Holly was addicted to my smell. The amount of frustration she was being forced to deal with was obvious; she was fucking restless, all the time, until she got a faint smell of my scent however—oh not my scent, my stench, the stinky stench of my feet. If a hint of my smell did that to her, what would happen if I like… stuck my stinky gym shoe in her face. She’d fucking melt.
How humiliated she’d feel once she would fully understand her situation, once she’d realize that any feeling of pleasure she would want, had to come through me.
The Day After
Today was a blast, for me at least. For Holly, it was probably a nightmare.
We usually spent a lot of time together at school. But today, she was like the gum at the bottom of my shoe. She ditched her study session at the library, ditched her group for the science project, ditched pretty much every other activity just to spend time with me.
I made sure to get closer to her every chance I got, and every time, the cutest look would come over her confused face. I was getting addicted to that lost-girl look on her face every time she got a hint of my scent. She had no idea what was happening, poor thing.
I saw it on her face, in how she looked at me. She wanted to tell me, but was too afraid to. Whenever I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, hugged her hello or gave her a kiss goodbye when we parted to our respective classes, she’d look like a lost little girl, sad about me leaving her.
I couldn’t stop myself from taking advantage of her baffled confused state, and started acting a bit bossy around her. I had her fetching me coffee, get a notebook or something from my locker, tie my shoes. She’d usually tell me to piss off, but standing up to me wasn’t her main concern today, so she just did it.
If only I knew the thoughts battling inside her head right now. What could she be thinking? For sure, she had probably acknowledged that she had mad feelings towards me, regardless of whether or not she’d yet admitted it.
I was walking from my last class of the day to the parking lot. When I walked through the school’s door, my eyes sparkled at seeing Holly waiting for me by my car. Her cute butt in jeans were leaning against my door, her shoulders slightly slouched forward, her face turned downwards to the ground, a worried look on her face, like a sad dog. God I love her.
“Hey pig-nose.” I greeted as I approached.
She looked at me startled. “He—Hey.”
“You’ve been waiting long.” I said as I walked to my door and unlocked it.
“Not really.”
We got in the car, and I started driving. Along the road, she was awfully silent, leaving me to do all the talking. I couldn’t blame her. She was still trying to figure this shit out.
“So…” I said, not able to resist asking anymore. “You talked to him yet.”
“Who…Oh.” She said, shuffling in her seat. “I saw him briefly today, in chemistry. We talked a bit.”
“…Did you—”
“No.” She said angrily and sharply. “I didn’t feel a thing. I’ll probably break it off.”
“Whaaat?” I whined. “Are you sure? What if it’s a phase or something…you sure you wanna lose a good boyfriend cause of it.” While giving my wisely advice, feeling a slight urge to toy with her, I sneakily inserted my right hand into of my tank-top, and rubbed the area between my chest and armpit, just a little bit, getting some of my heavenly scent on my fingers, before taking it out again.
“I don’t think it’s a phase.” She said.
I took a glance sideways to see her face; she looked utterly miserable, as her eyes looked forward coldly. A gust of guilt hit my stomach, before I shook my head and returned my eyes to the road. This was for the best. Call it an adjustment period. Besides, all was already done, and there was no point in thinking about it.
“Sorry honey.” I said in a caring, kind tone, while giving her face a quick pat, trying to get my fingers close to her nose. I couldn’t stop the smirk from blasting on my face as I felt her breath go through my fingers, as he took a deep sniff. I took my hand away, then looked at her baffled face. “What?” I giggled.
“Nothing…” She shuffled on her seat nervously and looked out the window. “Your hand smells like armpit.”
“Huh,” I chuckled. “Sorry.”
Yes it does bitch, and you love it.
I entered our street, and, as usual, parked in front of her house. Normally, I’d drop her off her house then drive over to mine, since she never hanged out after school, saying that she had chores or had to study or something. She would usually just get out of the car and wave me goodbye. But something told me she wasn’t as keen to go straight home today.
I looked at her, and she was looking out of the window, straight at her house. She couldn’t open the door.
“There’s this movie…” I said, out of nowhere, grabbing her attention. “That I’ve wanted to see for a while. I think you’ll like it.”
“Yeah?” She looked at me, biting her lips in thought.
I could almost feel the battle waging in her. We watched movies on my laptop. We’d lay in my bed together with our backs against the headboard. We would be touching arms. That meant, that for at least an hour and a half, she’d be able to breath my scent. It wouldn’t feel as good as inhaling my sweat I was sure, but it was better than nothing. I knew that these were the thoughts going through her head right now.
“So, you wanna come to my place.”
“…” She brought her finger to her mouth in worry as she looked down. “I have to study.”
I only hummed in response. I wasn’t about to try to convince her to come. No. She wanted me. She needed me. The days when I had to beg to spend time with here were over, for good.
I could see her battling her own thoughts, as she held her fingers at her mouth. I couldn’t know for sure if she had enough willpower to step out of my car, to make an active decision of rejecting the pleasure my company was giving her. I knew one thing though, that if I made the decision for her, the right one, she wouldn’t be able to resist. Such was my confidence that I started driving, and she just sighed, and sunk back into her chair, like an enormous weight had been lifted off her shoulders.
We reached my house. We greeted mom then walked up the stairs to my room. I kicked my shoes off, and kept the rest of my clothes on, not wanting to get into new, clean, odorless pajamas. I got under the covers, with the laptop in my lap, then looked up at her while she stood beside my bed like the awkward kid in the group. “So,” I smiled innocently. “You coming?”
Nervously, she nodded, taking her sandals off then getting under the covers beside me. Having been the decent one, she kept some distance between us. She wanted to get closer, but her guilt and her fear were keeping her away, understandably. So, I shifted my body closer to hers, until our elbows were touching. Her limbs were stiff and hot, her eyes pointing forward at the screen. She looked so cute, all shy and nervous like that.
With a satisfied grin on my face, I turned away to shut off the lights, giggling silently at hearing a shaky exhale escape her lips.
I turned back to her, then swiftly wrapped my arm around her rock-stiff shoulders, rubbing my palm up and down her arm and softly pulling her closer. It wasn’t a normal move. We usually didn’t sit this close. But she wasn’t about to protest now was she. I was only doing the things she so desperately wanted but was afraid to do. With her this close, I could almost hear her rabid heartbeat banging in her chest.
I knew exactly how she was feeling. It was how I’d felt whenever we sat this close after I had realized my feelings towards her. It brought a smile to my lips, as I watched her beyond terrified face lit only with the light of the screen, and realized that I wasn’t the only one struggling to keep my harbored lust in anymore.
“Hey…” I said, speaking with my tone barely louder than a whisper. “Relax will you.” I squeezed her chubby shivering arm with my fingers and rubbed it a bit, trying to comfort her.
She only nodded, and gave a shaky sigh. “Okay.”
With that, I started the movie.
While I sat there, relaxed and calm, I laughed inside at her restlessness. She couldn’t stay put for two minutes straight. We were already halfway through the movie, and it would surprise me if she even knew what it was about.
Every now and then, every time I’d lift my arm and scratch my head, or tug at my tank top to fan my chest, I’d release a faint hint of my scent, and while I didn’t even notice it, it was clear what it was doing to the girl sat beside me, who blushed and shuffled uncomfortably in reaction to my every move.
One time, feeling extra devious, I leaned to my side, stretching my arm to ‘get’ something from the beside table on her side, and, totally by accident, pushing my slightly sweaty armpit against the side of her face. I almost broke down laughing as I heard her take a deep sniff. I didn’t find something to bring, and she didn’t even think about it. I just sat back, amused that she didn’t even care to wipe her face.
It had been almost an hour since we started the movie. I was starting to wonder about where the pain-in-the-ass shrew was, when Holly’s phone rang.
“Shit—” she said as she shoved her hand under the covers and into her pocket, taking out her phone. She answered. “Hey mom.”
I paused the movie and tried to listen, to no success.
“I’m at Megan’s—” She got out of bed, probably afraid that I’d listen to whatever mean shit Martha would probably say about me. “We’re watching a movie.” She said as she stood close to my closet, her free arm crossed over her chest. “Mom I’ll be over in a bit… just an hour more…but—” She whined but was interrupted by what I supposed was her mother shouting: right now.
I spotted the disappointed look of defeat as her shoulders slouched and she said, “Fine.” Put ended the call and put her phone back into her pocket, before looking at me with an awkward smile. “Need to go.”
And so she went, bearing the most disappointed look I’d seen on her since the day we’d met.
Week Later
This. Is. Worst day of my life. Hands down.
I was at school in my Calculus class. Teacher was going on and on about I didn’t know what, and all I could think about was the crises that had fallen upon my life out of nowhere.
This was such bullshit. I had no idea where this could’ve come from. I was lusting for her, for the slightest hints of her smell. And the fact she didn’t know that, that she was clueless, made me feel like a dirty nasty perve, and I hated that.
It also didn’t help that this weird, sudden shift in my mentality happened months before the big exam. The timing couldn’t be worse. I needed to study, hard, and while I had been doing just that a week ago, now, all I could think about was Megan’s smell. Every night I really tried my best to just…open a book, read, and focus on what I was reading. But this…gentle, yet frustrating throbbing down my crotch didn’t allow me to focus for a minute straight. I was cranky all the time, even my mother noticed it. I felt like a baby whining for something but didn’t know what. And I’d had no idea what I wanted until that moment I took Megan’s slippers off for her.
Her feet weren’t even clean. Their smell was unpleasant, pungent, disgusting, and yet it made my mouth water. One slight whiff of it kicked me into a soothing relaxed state that I had been longing for since the day before.
After I went home that night, I was so freaked out I went straight to bed. But the day after I calmed my self down, got into scientist mode, determined to find out what the hell it all meant. I decided it was worth a try to smell my own shoes, weird as it may have sounded. At school, feeling like the dirtiest perve on the planet, I stayed behind in gym class and stayed in the locker room, gave some of the girls’ footwear a sniff. There I laid crawling from a flip-flop to a flat to a sneaker to a jersey. And, horrifyingly enough, nothing. Both tries, both mine and the girls’, gave me the only logical feeling one should feel from smelling them: disgust. For a moment, I grew hopeful, thinking that whatever happened the day prior at Megan’s, was a one-time thing and that now I was back to normal. That hope of course was diminished as soon as I met Megan in the parking lot. She gave me a brief hug, and the secant of her neck kicked the air out of my lungs and made my knees tremble.
At that moment, I couldn’t deny it any more. I had a lust for Megan. Only Megan.
Realizing that didn’t make me feel any better. It went against everything I’d come to think—to know about myself. I was straight. I didn’t find her that attractive—I was straight. I didn’t even like her personality that much. She was a bit too spoiled for my taste. I appreciated how she respected my boundaries and acted nice around me, but I knew how she usually treated people, same as how she tried to treat me first couple of weeks in our friendship. Always bossing people around, making fun of people’s appearances, shitting on my ‘naïve obsession’ with my education.
She seemed to suppress all of those parts in her personality whenever she was with me, and I liked that, thought that it meant she wanted to be my friend badly enough to respect my boundaries.
But the point was: Why her? Why only her?
I knew I wouldn’t get an answer no matter how much I’d think about it, so I gave up trying to figure it out. All I could do was wish, to go back to simpler times, when Megan was just Megan and nothing else, when her scent didn’t make my mind go crazy or make my knees weak.
Right now, I was leaning against her car again, waiting for her to finish her last class of the day. She was late. And usually, when that would happen I’d just call for Mom to come and get me. But it had been two days since I’d spent time with Megan, and I needed that time today. After the Movie incident, the following day, Mom waited for me in the parking lot to make sure I didn’t lose my way home. I couldn’t blame her. She was working her ass off to provide for me and make sure I get into that damn college. We were barley managing with bills. And I was lazing off with my friend watching a movie, my friend who was the daughter of the woman who tried to put an apron around my mother’s waist first chance she’d gotten.
She got every right to get mad, and there was still a possibility that she’d drive in the parking lot any minute now. But I hoped she wouldn’t. There was one place I wanted to be right now, and it wasn’t home trying to bang my dumb-unfocused head against my texts box, but at Megan’s.
As if to intentionally put me at unease, I saw Megan approaching, at the same time, a car engine’s sound made me look to my side, and I saw mother’s car driving my way. Mom got to me first, and parked the car beside me. When I didn’t get in immediately, she lowered her window, confused, and called for me, “Holly!”
“Yeah.” I got closer the door and looked at her through the window. “What’s up mom.”
“…” She frowned. “What’s up. Get in the car.”
“…It’s just…Megan’s coming—”
“Yeah I see her,” she nodded in Megan’s direction, her face scornful. “Come on let’s go.”
“…I just…” I said, my head darting left and right. “I just wanna say hey.”
Her eyes immediately grimaced, then she looked past me and nodded. “Fine.” She sighed and sat there waiting.
I stayed beside the car as Megan approached us. Her eyes looked between amused and irritated at seeing that Mom was there. “Hey,” She gave me a hug, during which I didn’t take a single breath, not wanting to get all anxious in front of Mom.
She was wearing her workout clothes, which consisted of a cyan tank top and black leggings that reached just below her knees. Must’ve swung by the school’s gym for a quick workout before she came here. She broke off the hug, allowing my face off her sweaty shoulder. She was drenched with sweat, and I was scared.
“Hey Mrs. Haik.” She said, leaning against the door frame.
“He—” Mom nodded, a bit nervous. “Hey Megan.”
“You know I don’t mind driving Holly home everyday right. You don’t have to come all the way out here.”
“No it’s okay.” She said coldly. “I was close by.”
Both of them just locked eyes for a bit, as I stood there waiting.
Megan sighed, then turned toward me. “Okay…I guess I’ll see you later.”
I couldn’t keep the disappointment off my face. I so didn’t want to go home. All that waited for me there was frustration. But as Megan walked to her car, I thought there was no way of avoiding a frustrating night today, so I just sighed and walked to the passenger’s seat door.
“Damn it,” Megan’s shout made both me and Mom look in her direction. She was standing by her car, rummaging through her purse. She stopped searching for whatever she was searching, and looked at us with slouched shoulders.
“What?” I said in a concerned tone.
“Forgot my keys.”
With the biggest of grins splattered over my face, I looked expectantly through the window at Mom, who, in turn, had on her face the most annoyed of grimaces. She seemed to put effort into suppressing her frustration, as she closed her eyes for a second before she opened them and said, “Suppose you’ll need a ride then huh.”
Megan strode towards us smiling, “So nice of you to offer, thanks.”
She got into the back seat, and I got in after her.
“Damn…” Megan said, squishing her back against the seat’s back. “These seats are like rocks. You should really consider changing this crappy car guys.”
I didn’t say a word, but my face wrinkled uncomfortably as I imagined Mom’s thoughts. I heard her mutter something as she started the car. And we headed home.
The whole ride home, me and Megan just talked about random stuff, school and what not, while Mom stayed mostly silent. Then out of nowhere, Megan started flexing her back and groaning.
“God…gym today was a handful.” She said as she stretched her arms around. “Hey Holly?”
“Yeah?” I said nervously, dreading where this might be going.
“Mind giving me one of your pretty back rubs real quick?”
Here? I thought, but I didn’t say a word.
“What?” Mom said, looking back at us through the mirror. “Since when does she give you rubs.”
“Since a couple of weeks or so. They’re really good too, she’s a natural.”
I closed my eyes, half ashamed, half angry at Megan for letting my mom in on what I considered to be my secrets. Mom really didn’t like her. I couldn’t imagine she’d be thrilled to know I was offering Megan or her mother any kind of favors. And judging by the red that suddenly overcame her face, I thought right.
I didn’t want to do this in front of Mom, but it had been a long time away from Megan, that I couldn’t refuse this opportunity to get close to her. “Yeah,” I said. “Sure.”
“Great,” She said as she turned, giving me her back and bending her knees and resting her legs on the seat. I brushed her blond hair away and let it rest on her shoulder, exposing her still sweaty neck. I rested my palms on between her shoulders and her neck, and started working my thumps through the fleshy parts of her shoulders.
“Oh yeah…” She moaned, making me blush, as my eyes darted between her neck and the mirror, catching mother’s unamused stare. “That’s the spot.”
One of the reasons I thought that Megan suspected the messed-up shit going in my brain, was because of all the liberations she started taking. Little demands she didn’t use to make before. Simply put, she bossed me around a bit.
She stared asking me to get her coffee, or carry her books around saying that she was feeling a bit tired. She always asked nicely, but somehow making it sound like a demand, like I was expected to say yes. I didn’t know if my awkwardness around her made her feel okay to treat me differently, or that she knew I had feelings towards her and decided to take advantage of it. None of the possibilities would surprise me, knowing Megan.
But this massage that I was giving to her now, wasn’t one of those demands. She never asked for such a thing. I offered it to her. Thought she would think it was weird but not that weird, considering her friend Kristy practically used to be her unpaid masseuse. Fortunately, she didn’t think much of it. Knowing how she was, she probably loved it on more than one level.
I just wanted to be close to her, touch her, smell her secant, and working my hands on any part of her body after a stressful workout always helped making her smell fill the air. I was never a smoker, and I never drank. But I suspected that was how a smoker or an alcoholic would feel. I had a constant itch, whenever I was away from her. And now, the itch was just, not there.
When she had gotten a bit mor relaxed, she leaned back, resting the back of her head on my shoulder. It made massaging her a tad more difficult, but it didn’t matter, she was closer like that.
“So how come we never see you around our house as much Mrs. Haik.” She said between moans. “You’re mad at us or something.”
“humm…” Mom turned, caught off guard. “No I’m…just a bit busy that’s all. How’s your mom.”
“She’s good.”
“That’s good to hear.” Mom took a U-turn, seeming uninterested in continuing the conversation.
We stayed silent for a bit. And I was allowed to lose myself in my soothing activity. I was managing this better than I thought. Yes my breathing was a bit too quick and my heartbeat was drumming uncomfortably, and if I talked my words would come out all weak and shaky, but I kept it under control better than I’d thought I’d have. I felt good, relaxed; feeling what was lost from me for the last couple of days.
“So Holly, what do you say you come by to my place. Only for a while,” She directed her last sentence at Mom.
“Oh that—” Mom smiled, as she shook her head at the mirror. “Holly has to study. She’s already behind some subjects. Right Holly?”
I froze for a bit, but I already knew the right answer. Whatever this was, it shouldn’t keep me from my exam, the thing that really mattered here. She was right, I was a bit behind on my studies, and that was mainly because of my complete lack of concentration this past week. I knew it would be hard to go home and try to work through it, but it was my only option wasn’t it. It wasn’t like I could focus if I was with Megan anyway. I’d feel less frustrated, sure, but not focused. “Yeah.” I nodded. I didn’t see Megan’s face, but I doubted it was a pleasant one.
After a while, when we got closer to our street, Megan stretched her legs a little bit and whined. “God, these shoes are killing me.” She said, “You don’t mind if I take them off do you.”
“Ah…no.” Mom said, “Make yourself comfortable dear.”
“Thanks.”
With horrifying eyes and a trembling heart, I watched as Megan dug the toe of her sneaker against the other’s heel, and pushed it off her foot.
I steeled myself, almost afraid to take a breath. I held my mouth and nose shut. But judging by the grimace I spotted on the side of mother’s face, Megan’s socked feet had stunk up the car. I wished I could hold my breath forever, but I couldn’t. I took a deep breath through the nose, letting what was basically Megan’s stinky foot stench enter, and there was that damn feeling again. My stomach shrunk, but in a good way. A firm tingle ran up and down my spine.
“Christ Megan.” Mom waved her hand in front of her face. “You need a shower.”
“Oh they’re not that bad.” Megan laughed, actually rising her leg and moving her socked foot close to mom’s face.
Mom laughed jokingly and turned away. “Keep’em away from me young lady.”
Megan only giggled, then turned her attention to me. “Are they that bad. Holly?”
I took a deep breath that I needed to be able to muster an audible response, then I said, words coming a bit weaker than I had hoped for, “They’re alright.”
“Alright!” Mom said. “Come on you can’t tell me you’re not smelling this back there. They’re rank.”
I only managed to shrug, and mom just gave me a head-shake in response as she continued driving.
As we approached Megan’s house, my mind was occupied by one thought: how was I going to convince mom to let me off the hook tonight. I needed to go to Megan’s. Whatever that feeling was, I wanted it to last.
“Mom.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m thinking I could use a night off today. I wanna hang out with Megan for a while. That’s alright right?”
Megan stayed silent, as Mom scoffed then said, “No…No it’s not alright. Exams are approaching Holly. And you’re already behind. You know I talked to Mister Jank—”
“Mom I know…it’s just one night.”
“He said you got a B+ in your calculus quiz the other day.”
“Yeah…and it’s maybe because I’d been studying so much. I feel so stressed out—”
“That’s such nonsense.”
That discussion was prolonged into a five-minute argument, during which I argued with mom—which was a first in by itself—about me just heading to Megan’s. Megan stayed silent through the whole thing, but for some reason, with only the side of her face visible for me, I spotted a faint smirk curled up her lips. I didn’t know what was so amusing about this, but I didn’t care to know at the moment.
I saw where my mom was coming from. We were poor, kinda. And Mom was nice enough to give me the easy…or less hard rout of getting out of this poverty. She did all the work, had too jobs, and provided everything necessary for me to have an education. The least I could do, was do my part, which was putting my studies first.
But I couldn’t help it. It wasn’t the logical choice to make, but I wasn’t feeling that logical at the moment. All I wanted was to be with Megan. And that was what I was going to do.
Getting tired of fighting, mom felt the need to put her foot down. “You are not spending tonight outside of home. End. Of. Story.”
“Hey Holly, how’re you doing today.” Mrs. Ashford greeted me at the door.
“Hey Mrs. Ashford. I’m good,” I said.
She was wearing her going-out clothes, a Paige long skirt and blouse and white high heels. She peered outside the door to look at Mom who was still in her car.
“Hey Martha—”
Mom drove away.
—————-
Hey there. Hope you liked the story. If you did, feel free to check my other stories in the link below. Some of the stories here are complete, and some of them are part 1 of the stories I have on my website. It takes good effort to write these stories, and would appreciate the support. Thanks for reading, have a good one.
allmylinks.com/eggwhites
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